Keep Running
by IAmGlitterati
Summary: Kurt doesn't see why life is so special, anyway. What's so great about it?
1. Chapter 1

_He just couldn't take it anymore. _Kurt sat alone in the darkened choir room, hunched slightly over the piano. His bag lay abandoned next to the cracked-open door, foundation and concealer spilling out of it. He took a shuddering breath, finally letting a few tears slip out of the corner of his eyes and slide down his cheek. He raked a hand through his hair, not caring that he was messing it up. _It didn't matter anymore. _

He was semi-aware of how his fingernails were breaking skin as he clenched his hands into tight, shaking fists. _He can't go home; Finn's over there, watching football with Burt, as Carole laughs at their sport talk and cooks them the stereotypical carb-loaded dinner. He can't go home. _He slams his hands down on the closed piano lid, and buries his face in his arms, not caring that the thick layer of foundation will probably rub off on his Marc Jacobs sweater.

_He just wants to scream, or yell, or cry. He wants to just be able to run and keep running,until everything falls away behind him. He wishes he could make a noise. But he can't, trapped here in a lonely world. _He sits up, taking solace in the darkness of the choir room, where everything seems to fade away into eternal darkness. Kurt's hand moves up and clenches onto his other wrist, and he feels the hot blood run out from under where his fingernails dig in. _If he squeezes hard enough, maybe he'll forget. _He closes his eyes, feeling the stinging of his arm.

Kurt doesn't realize someone is sitting next to him until they're prying his hands apart. He snaps open his eyes, and yanks his arms out from the intruders grip, clutching them to his chest, pulling down the fabric of his sweater to cover the bloody half-crescent marks marring his pale skin. He sits perfectly still, eyes trained on the floor, hoping whoever it is will go away.

"Kurt?" It's Mr. Schue's voice, floating down through the darkness. "Kurt." Kurt tries to move away, but the hands reach out and firmly grasp onto his bleeding arms. "Kurt, look at me." Kurt tries to pull away, tries to escape the situation. _Like the coward he is. _Mr. Schue lets go of his arms. _Run. _Instead, the teacher enfolds Kurt in his arms in a hug. Kurt stiffens even more. "Kurt, its okay." _He doesn't deserve the sympathy. _He finds the courage to look up a moment, only to meet the pitying eyes trained down on him. _He doesn't need his teacher's pity. _He lets himself sink slightly into the hug, then pulls away, wiping all traces of tears off his face with his sleeve, the wool scratching his skin. He ignores Mr. Schue calling his name as he leaves the room, leaving his bag behind. As he walks out of the school, he straightens his back, puts on a brave face. It'll be the last time he makes this walk.

* * *

At 10:00 that night, Finn goes down into the basement room to get ready for bed. At 10:01, he finds Kurt sprawled out in the bathroom, wrists leaking blood that runs in steady rivulets across the bathroom floor. At 10:02, Finn can't believe it, because Kurt is to dramatic to die that way. It's not that Kurt-like, to just simply slit his wrists alone at night. At 10:03, reality finally hits Finn, and he starts yelling. At 10:10, the yard is alight in the flashing, colorful lights of ambulances and police cars. At 10:30, Finn hasn't heard anything from the doctors. At 10:34, Finn, tears reddening his face, knuckles stinging from being slammed into the wall, pulls out his phone. At 10:35, Mr. Schue's phone rings.

**So, I'm thinking that this story will probably end up having three chapters or something..and I'll try and update it as soon as possible. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

In record time, Mr. Schue showed up at the emergency room, and spotted Finn immediately. The tall teen was pacing back and forth, fists clenched, tears shining on his face. He's alone. Burt and the woman he assumes is Finn's mother were over near the desk, comforting each other.

"What happened?" Mr. Schue asked Finn quietly. The phone call had been less than informative, it mainly consisted of Finn's emotional voice telling Mr. Schue that he needed him to come to the ER.

"What happened?" He repeated, then realized something. Kurt wasn't there. "Wheres Kurt, Finn?"

Finn immediately stumbled in his pacing, and Mr. Schue grabs his arm to steady him. "Finn?"

Finn sank down into one of the hard plastic chairs, and buried his face in his hands. "There was so much blood..." He mumbled, his voice thick.

Mr. Schue felt his heart almost stop. "Finn. What happened to Kurt?"

Finn looked up, a pleading, lost look in his eyes. "He...he..." His words caught in his throat, resulting in an odd choking noise.

Mr. Schue put an arm around him. "Take it easy," he soothed.

Finn took a deep breath, and the rest of the information came out in a rush. "I went downstairs into our room and Kurt's iPod was playing and I didn't see him anywhere, and the bathroom door was slightly open and I looked in and he was in there and there was blood everywhere, and his skin was white, and there was blood everywhere and he didn't look like he was breathing and he did it to himself and I don't know why and it was so scary and it wasn't right and it shouldn't happen and oh god Kurt..." His breathing escalated and hitched.

Mr. Schue felt everything freeze for a moment. Kurt. Kurt had attempted suicide. "Finn..." the teenager looked up, eyes reddened. "Is he okay?"

The boy looked miserable as he shook his head. "They haven't said anything."

"He's alive, right?"

Finn lowered his gaze to the floor and ran shaking hands through his short hair. "...I don't know."

The pair looked up as a doctor opened the door. Burt and Carole rushed towards him immediately, and Finn stood up, pleading for Mr. Schue to come with his eyes.

"So?" Burt asked, his usually gruff voice trembling slightly.

"He had major blood loss."

"So?" Burt repeated.

"It's really a 50-50 chance right now." The doctor admitted. Mr. Schue suddenly recognized him as the same doctor that had talked to Kurt when Burt was in the hospital after his heart attack.

"Is he going to die?" Finn asked quietly. Mr. Schue placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Right now..." The doctor sighed. "Right now, it all depends on wether or not he makes it through this first night."

"Can I see him?" Finn was trembling now, and Mr. Schue tightened his hold on the tall teenager.

"Are you family?"

"Not technically, but he's as good as." Burt cut in.

The doctor glanced between them, debating. "Fine," he shrugged. "Through there, third door on the left."

Finn looked over at Mr. Schue. "Can he come too?"  
"Is it okay with you, Mr. Hummel?" The group turned to Burt, waiting for him to answer the doctor's question.

Burt shrugged. "It can't do much harm."

"You can all go in now," the doctor said, pointing ahead through the swinging double doors.

* * *

It was freezing inside the room, and it seemed all too white. Kurt lay in the bed, hooked up too machines, his skin so pale it blended in with both the room and the bandages wound tightly around his wrists. The slow beeping of a heart monitor and the rattle of the half-broken air conditioning was the only noise.

Mr. Schue glanced around at the others. Burt seemed frozen into place, his arms wrapped tightly around his fiancee. It was Finn who made the first move. He lurched out of Mr. Schue's grip and stumbled over to the tiny form in the bed. Tears were streaming full force down his face by now, and he hesitated a moment next to the bed, but only a moment. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair out of Kurt's face. This gesture seemed to break the trance that had settled over Burt and Carole, and they moved forward, Burt sinking into the chair beside the bed, while Carole let out nervous energy by straightening the freakishly white sheets. Mr. Schue stood awkwardly by the door, feeling out of place in the aura of family that had descended over the room.

"Kurt?" Finn's quiet whisper made everyone freeze in place and look towards Kurt. His eyelashes where fluttering, and he made a quiet sort of moan. "Kurt!" Finn blinked away the lingering tears that impaired his vision. The pale blue-green eyes opened, blinking away the fogginess brought on by the network of drugs being pumped into his body. He looked to his father and Carole first, a sort of confusion evident on his face. He only looked more confused when his gaze landed on Mr. Schue, standing by the door. But when his eyes finally met Finn's teary ones, understanding and guilt flasheed through the blue-green orbs, but it was quickly subdued by the haze of another wave of sleep-inducing drugs.

Even as his eyes started to flutter closed again, and his breathing evened out once more, he kept his gazed locked on his almost-stepbrother. "I...I..." he choked out, his voice thick and quiet.

Finn shook his head. "Shhh, go back to sleep," he said gently but firmly, brushing hair out of Kurt's face once more.

"I'm so sorry..." Kurt's voice trailed off as he fell back under the influence of the drugs. Tears began to carve a path down Finn's face once more, and Burt's hand clenched Kurt's shoulder in a painfully tight grip.

But slowly, as the night wore on, people began to leave. Burt took Carole home, insisting that she needed sleep. He promised they'd be back early the next morning. Finn begged to stay longer, and the pair relented, but only when Mr. Schue offered to drive him back before midnight. For the longest hour of either Finn or Mr. Schue's life, they sat quietly in the too-white, too-cold hospital room, looking down on a brother, on a student. On someone whose face they could never see again without feeling guilt flash through them, guilt for not seeing when something was wrong.

"Finn, its 11:45. Come on, I'll take you home." Mr. Schue placed his hand on Finn's shoulder once again.

"I can't just leave him here...what if he wakes up again?" Finn looked up with pleading eyes.

"You'll be back in several hours. Kurt's strong...he'll pull through."

Finn wiped his eyes and stood. "Yeah, he will. He is." He allowed Mr. Schue to lead him from the room and out to the parking lot, only glancing back once, leaving Kurt alone in the cold white room.

* * *

No one's there when the stitches open and the sterile white bandages become soaked in rusty red blood. No ones there when the alarms go off, and the staff are trying desperately to re-start Kurt's heart. No one's there when the doctors give up and back off. No one's there when they unplug all the machines. No one's there when Kurt Hummel silently slips away from life just before midnight, all alone once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, the final chapter! and yes, I do feel amazing...I got this story done in record timing. **

The day of the funeral, it was sunny, the sky a brilliantly clear blue. It had snowed the night before, so a thick layer of sparkling, crystalline flakes coated the ground of the cemetery. It would have been beautiful, if not for the mound of dirt that bordered a freshly dug grave. Clustered around it was a pathetically small group of people. The entire William McKinley Glee Club huddled together, hands intertwined, each of them sensing the other's pain and sorrow. Mr. Schue stood on one side of the group of kids, Sue on the other side. She had even, for once, changed from her normal track suit into a black suit. Burt and Carole stood together at the head of the grave, gazing solemnly at the scene before their eyes. Two teenagers nobody seemed to know other than Burt stood on the opposite side of the grave, both in navy blue and red school uniforms. There was a strange lack of family members, no cousins, no uncles, no grandparents. It was just the small, rag-tag group, a group that, while they still argued and quarreled and had their issues and didn't all know each other, where bonded by the memory of the small brunette singer.

The coffin was elegant, morbidly representing Kurt in every way. Finn held one corner of it, lower down so that the smaller boy on the other side could rest it easily on his shoulder. The other boy wore a black jacket, but the blue and red striped tie that poked out from underneath identified him as going to the same school as the other two boys barely anyone seemed to know. But despite this, they all felt sorry for him, seeing the tears slide down his cheeks. Finn was looking straight ahead, not acknowledging any of those whose gazes drifted towards him. They placed the coffin on the ground, both full-out crying by this time, and returned to their respective groups of friends. The shorter boy made his way over to the two others in uniform, and they enveloped him in hugs, whispering words of reassurance. Finn let Rachel wrap her arms around his waist, but then turned over to look at the three boys off to their selves, and beckoned them over with a small hand gesture. They positioned themselves several feet from the McKinley Glee Club. All attention went back to Burt, at the head of the grave.

"I'm not going to make a big speech," he said, his voice husky and hoarse, "because there's really no way I can say how amazing my son was. There's no way I can say how much I regret all the times I wasn't good enough for him. There's no way I can say just how I much I miss you right now. All I can say is that the past sixteen years were the best sixteen years I could hope for." He bent his head slightly, nodding to Finn and the rest of the Glee Club.

"Kurt..." Finn began, quietly. "Kurt, you where the best almost-stepbrother I could have ever asked for." His speech only consisted of one sentence, and his voice began to break as tears threatened to overwhelm him.

Rachel stepped forward. "I was so self-absorbed, Kurt. I see that now..." Her voice shook slightly. "I really wished I could go back in time, and see you on the stage singing Defying Gravity like I knew you wanted to. I just want you to know, it was such an honor singing a duet with you. I may never have told you, but I learned so much from you."

"Stay fly, man," was all Artie offered up, but so heartfelt that it seemed as if it had been a long, soul-bearing speech.

"You had sweet baby hands-" Brittany stopped mid sentence and burst into tears. Santana pulled her into a tight hug, and took over with their speech. Slowly, the entire glee club was done, some speeches only a sentence long, others much longer. Sue turned down the offer to speak, instead focusing her attention on the coffin that held the once-Cheerio. Then it was Mr. Schue's turn.

"I can't say everything. I know you didn't really like me, Kurt, and I know its probably too late to admit it now, but you were seriously one of the best ones in Glee. I'm sorry for not acknowledging it sooner."

All eyes turned to the other boy who had been shouldering the coffin. Burt gave him a small, sad smile. "Blaine?" He asked.

The boy, Blaine, wiped away the tears that coated his face, and took a shaky breath. "I know I don't know many of you," he began, "but we're all here now, together, missing one of the most amazing guys I ever knew." He paused. "My name's Blaine. I am-I was-Kurt's boyfriend. Kurt was..." Blaine looked up, trying to think of a way to describe him. "...he was the strongest person I've ever known. Every time I was with him, I felt so cowardly and pathetic, because he could overcome what I never could. Kurt was brave, he was talented, he was sweet, and he was..." He tilted his head and smiled slightly. "...cute. You know what he looked like when he was sleeping? A puppy. I know its a strange thing to say, but it was one of the things I loved most about him." Blaine gestured to the boys behind him. "This is Wes and David. We all met Kurt when he came to spy on our Glee Club, so I figured I'd give him one last performance."Blaine stepped forward and closed his eyes.

_I've heard it said  
That people come into our lives for a reason  
Bringing something we must learn  
And we are led  
To those who help us most to grow  
If we let them  
And we help them in return  
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true  
But I know I'm who I am today  
Because I knew you... _His clear vocals sailed over the quiet cemetery, freezing the moment in time.

_Like a comet pulled from orbit  
As it passes a sun  
Like a stream that meets a boulder  
Halfway through the wood  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But because I knew you  
I have been changed for good _

Rachel stepped up, and effortlessly took over the next part, smiling sadly at Blaine when he gave her a nod of thanks.

**It well may be  
That we will never meet again  
In this lifetime  
So let me say before we part  
So much of me  
Is made of what I learned from you  
You'll be with me  
Like a handprint on my heart  
And now whatever way our stories end  
I know you have re-written mine  
By being my friend... **

**Like a ship blown from its mooring  
By a wind off the sea  
Like a seed dropped by a skybird  
In a distant wood  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But because I knew you **

It seemed almost natural for everybody else to join in, voices blending effortly, twining together, sending the melody spiraling through the early winter air, rising up in the wind.  
Because I knew you

I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air  
I ask forgiveness  
For the things I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know  
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit  
As it passes a sun  
Like a stream that meets a boulder  
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring  
By a wind off the sea  
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been  
Changed for the better?  
I do believe I have been  
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...  
Because I knew you...  
I have been changed for good...

Tears streaming down their faces, they let the last note linger and fade. And as the dirt fell down on their friend, they all pulled each other into a tight hug, not a single person left out, arms intertwining, tears mingling, boots and pants getting cold and wet from melting snow. Time remained frozen as they stood together, each and every person so different, but joined together by one boy, who had tragically left so early, leaving behind friends, who now lay scattered and lost, like the last leaves of November when wind blew them down the streets and into gutters.

As the first load of dirt rained down on the coffin and buried their friend forever, they turned their back on the grave. They turned their back, but they would never forget him, never forget the friendships he forged, the songs he sang, the clothes he wore. They would never forget Kurt Hummel, buried in a small cemetery in Lima, Ohio, under the cold and frozen earth, so heartbreakingly far from his dream.

**Authors Note: Please forgive me for killing Kurt...i just HAD TO! So...review please? **


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